(no subject)

[laurenaf]

Oh damn, it’s been a month?? Did not realize!


So….apparently I did not mention last time I have started dating a guy in my band! (I think last time I wrote it was just a thing that was about to happen so that’s fair) But now it’s been a month and a little bit of me still feels like I did in the beginning which is all “I don’t know what I think of this or where I think it might go. I don’t even know how interested I am!” But I also think a bit about the last guy I dated (over 3 years ago) and I was never totally sure how I felt and definitely never saw a future with him. I think I just stuck around so long because it was nice to be with someone. At least here I think of that and say “I was with that dude for 1.5 years!….and after just one month I think I like being with this guy more.” Plus at least when I think of a future I think I legit don’t know. Last guy I was always like “oh. No. But I guess it’s nice for now.”


Also I dragged new guy to my company Christmas party which was fun if nothing else not to feel like the only single alone person there. (Also I think they all liked him. TBD when I get back to the office next week) Anyway, it’s probably about time we clue the rest of the band in this might be a thing. 😋

Comments

[vikkilynn]

Are you someone who gets “smitten”? Or maybe you used to when you were younger but now you’re more cautious and jaded when it comes to expectations of relationships? I ask because you definitely seem hesitant about dating C. I’m GLAD you’re giving it a chance because who knows how the friendship between you might grow to a close bond if given time? But what’s the hesitation about?

[laurenaf]

I think it's a combination of things! I definitely agree with you that the whole idea of "being smitten" was probably mostly left behind in my younger years. I think I'm someone who 'falls for people' very slowly. It kinda goes along with how I've realized in past years I can see famous people like movie stars and musicians who I recognize I find ATTRACTIVE but if I take it a step further and think about something like kissing that person I'm like "....hmm.....gross." Because I don't KNOW them!

Another thing you just got me thinking about is I feel like I've had a LOT of relationships where we've dated for two, maybe three months and then it fizzles. And usually on their side. So maybe I'm being cautious. I don't want to let myself go too much until I feel confident it will "stick."

[vikkilynn]

I think some degree of cautiousness is warranted but hopefully you can also just let yourself “fall” … as scary as that can be. Do you have any fears that if it doesn’t work out, that’ll make things awkward for the band?

[laurenaf]

Also....maybe I'm not giving the right idea about how things are going when talking with friends?? Because there's probably been a bit too many make-outs at this point to just call it a "friendship" :D