(no subject)

[laurenaf]

Some days you find that you were probably better off not getting up in the first place. Honestly, how do I keep treading through this...and what's the point anyway? What have I done with my life? I'll tell you what. A whole lot of nothing. I don't know how much longer I can keep up the act...

Comments

Re:

[iridescence.livejournal.com]

Perhaps it was about me, but I still hope things start looking up for you too. I'm hopeful of that every time I hear like one sentence of good news from you, it's like "Yay! Maybe she'll get the good life she deserves now finally!"

But anyway, part of the problem here is lack of ambition or something of the like. Or lack of opportunity which I'm not sure I can control, not as easily as the lack of ambition anyway (which is hard enough in itself. Telling someone "become ambitious!" is pretty much the same thing as telling someone in depression "just stop being depressed" It doesn't happen that easily!) Also, I feel pretty much guarenteed to fail in anything, and it seems that anytime I get a little bit of guts to try something I'm only proven right again. Failure. That is all. Go home and forget it.

Then there are other things I'm not happy with at the moment but a) I'm not sure what I want to do to change that and 2) It doesn't really matter WHAT I want to do to change it since I can't really because I can't afford it.

So I'm just very stuck at the moment. I'm feeling immobile...which in turn makes me feel pointless...which (pulling up all my eloquence here) ultimately makes me feel NOT GOOD.

It's a viscious cycle indeed....