as if I'd want to be with you anyway!!!!

He's going to thanksgiving dinner at his friend's house. the same friend who he's been spending ALL his freakin' time with for the past two weekends. the same friend who he changes his plans for when he thinks he needs help, but won't do the same for me. In fact when I break down crying (then, a rarity, now? fuck it...) it's just like 'well i hope she stops soon because i don't really want to leave her like this but...i have other plans, not like i'd stick around here!' I mean he didn't actually SAY this, but that's what it felt like.
Yup, so he may not even come to thanksgiving dinner with MY family, yet he'll go with this friend's family. My family isn't getting together until Friday. I don't know if I'm going because a) I don't know if he can come with me b) I don't know if I can get a ride down if he can't and c) I don't know if I want to go alone though I'm not sure I want to stay here either.
LIFE SUCKS!!!!!...though probably more so because I'm a bit on the intoxicated side. If he leaves me tomorrow you can bet I'll be a LOT on the intoxicated side. woo-hoo! Look for intersting entries from me. Happy fucking Thanksgiving....

At least I start work on Tuesday or maybe Monday I hope. I think I need a second job....